THE ONLY WAY TO CATCH HIM IS GRAB HIM BY THE TAIL (THE CAT, NOT ALAN) WHEN HE SLOWS DOWN

Trying to control a cat is almost impossible. Trying to control a big hateful cat is totally impossible.

I have insisted that Pepper is going to be an inside cat. Pepper's attitude is "The hell I am". I'm quickly losing the  argument.

The problem is my ex, who has alzheimer's and I signed on as his caretaker. He just can't remember to shut the cat up before he opens a door. The cat remembers. This happens several times a day.

If I don't see it happen, the only way I know the cat is missing is to finally see him chasing butterflies in my herb bed or see Alan zipping past my sunroom, trying to chase Pepper around the house. The cat can shoot past Alan so quickly that he doesn't even realize or remember the cat got out. It's like a three-ring circus trying to control both of them at the same time.

Two kittens playing chase is amusing and will make your whole day brighter. Watching Alan and the cat playing chase several times a day is enough to screw up the whole week.  The only way I can catch the little snot is to grab him by his tail  (the cat, not Alan) when he finally slows down for a minute.

So far he's been content to stay in the yard and chase butterflies and grasshoppers. I'm afraid he'll decide to explore the woods and get himself in trouble.

He's still rolling over on command, but now, when he wants a snack, he grabs my arm, pulls it over and flops over on his back while throwing his head on my hand so he doesn't bang his head on the desk.

Pepper is coming up on his second birthday this coming June. He's starting to lose some of that wild streak. He's calming down a little, but I'm really looking forward to him maturing a little more.

Measured him a few weeks ago when I caught him stretched out on the floor. I mismeasured, measuring from tip of tail to tip of front feet. The correct way to measure your cat's length is tip of tail to the tip of the nose. He's about 36 inches long. Cat's wait to get him to the vet and weigh him. He's very muscular and heavy. I believe I already mentioned he's hateful.

It all becomes forgivable though when he jumps up, pulls my hand over and wants to hold hands because we're friends.

QUICKLY LOSING BATTLE TO MAKE PEPPER AN INSIDE CAT.

Trying to control a cat is almost impossible. Trying to control a big hateful cat is totally impossible.

I have insisted that Pepper is going to be an inside cat. Pepper's attitude is "The hell I am". I'm quickly losing the  argument.

The problem is my ex, who has alzheimer's and I signed on as his caretaker. He just can't remember to shut the cat up before he opens a door. The cat remembers. This happens several times a day.

If I don't see it happen, the only way I know the cat is missing is to finally see him chasing butterflies in my herb bed or see Alan zipping past my sun room, trying to chase Pepper around the house. The cat can shoot past Alan so quickly that he doesn't even realize or remember the cat got out. It's like a three-ring circus trying to control both of them at the same time. It's like trying to corral mice.

Two kittens playing chase is amusing and will make your whole day brighter. Watching Alan and the cat playing chase several times a day is enough to screw up the whole week.  The only way I can catch the little snot is to grab him by his tail  (the cat, not Alan) when he finally slows down for a minute.

So far he's been content to stay in the yard and chase butterflies and grasshoppers. I'm afraid he'll decide to explore the woods and get himself in trouble.

He's still rolling over on command, but now, when he wants a snack, he grabs my arm, pulls it over and flops over on his back while throwing his head on my hand so he doesn't bang his head on the desk.

Pepper is coming up on his second birthday this coming June. He's starting to lose some of that wild streak. He's calming down a little, but I'm really looking forward to him maturing a little more.

Measured him a few weeks ago when I caught him stretched out on the floor. I mis-measured, measuring from tip of tail to tip of front feet. The correct way to measure your cat's length is tip of tail to the tip of the nose. He's about 36 inches long. Can't wait to get him to the vet and weigh him. He's very muscular and heavy. I believe I already mentioned he's hateful.

It all becomes forgivable though when he jumps up, pulls my hand over and wants to hold hands because we're friends.

PEPPER NOW A BIG BULLY

My tiny terror, Pepper, has now become a big bully. He keeps Alan scared to even pet him, which seems to suit the cat just fine.

However, I'm still trainable, so he has me trained just like he wants me.

I decided Pepper wasn't getting enough exercise, since he was supposed to be an inside cat only. Since Maine coons are more dog-like than like cats, I decided to train him a little. He will do almost anything to get a "snack".  His favorite place to plant himself is in front of the television while we're trying to watch a show.

I started training him to lay down with either voice command or hand signals. So far, so good. Now we've graduated to rolling over on command, this time by hand signals. I just can't seem to now convince him he's supposed to wait until I signal before he shows off for a snack.

While I'm trying to blog, he spends his time jumping on the desk and throwing himself over on his back. He throws himself so hard, you can hear his little head go "thunk" when it hits the wooden desk.  Maine Coons are natural clowns, so he does it over and over. I swear he's going to eventually have brain damage.

If I attempt to start ignoring him, he bites. In his defense, he removes his teeth from the holes in my hand on the loud screaming voice command "DON'T BITE MAMA!". He then lays his little head on my left hand that is trying to type, reaches over and pats me with his little paw to comfort me and con me into thinking he loves me, and goes sound asleep.

PEPPER THE TINY TERROR LEARNS HIS FIRST CUSS WORD

I've written about how my first Maine Coon had learned to talk, would holler "Mama, Mama" whenever he wanted me or couldn't find me. I had worked hard teaching him to say that. But the rest of his vocabulary he picked up by just repeating what he heard us say.

I decided to try and teach Pepper the tiny terror to say "mama". I worked and I worked. Finally I decided it wasn't worth the effort. He had said it twice and then never again. He's about 18 months old now and I had decided he just wasn't as smart as Oscar had been.

I've also written about him grabbing us by the leg and biting whenever we walk through the room. Its his favorite game. Unfortunately, Alan always screams "S--T, STOP IT!"

I had a friend here one day. We were visiting in the sunroom. All of a sudden I heard, "S--T!" coming from the direction of the litter box. My eyes flew wide open with a shocked look as I turned in time to see the same wide-eyed shocked look on my friend's face.

"What did he just say?" I whispered.
She whispered back, "He just said S--T!"
"That's what I was afraid of," I sighed.

We both looked at the litter box, where Pepper was still working hard trying to get the litter off of his feet. He wiped them on the edge of the box, on the carpet, back in the box, finally wiping his foot on the sliding glass door, where he once again screamed "S--T!" We both collapsed laughing this time because it was loud and clear.

I am no longer trying to teach him to talk. I do not need a bad-tempered cat who cusses like a parrot sailor.